I've found my role in life. Did you know that an important part of farming is standing around? Not non-specific standing around, but carefully co-ordinated standing in the middle of the road to direct (delete as appropriate) sheep / cattle / cars / tractors / horny bulls. I seem to do a lot of this – and apparently am quite good at it.
Chewing grass at a junction, I idly wonder if perhaps I am slightly over-educated to be a traffic cone in North Devon (although the now-automatic reaching into the hedge for something to put in my mouth to chew probably indicates otherwise). However, having watched Ian M running down the road after a (delete as appropriate) cow / ram / lamb (that one was my fault) that has bucked the trend and taken a new direction in life, I can conclude that standing is a vital function for farming. It can be undertaken in a slapdash manner, or elevated to a noble and brave art.
You need poise (so you can jump out of the way when something big runs towards you), intelligence (to know when to jump and when to stand your ground to turn the tide), courage (not to take off in a sprint in the opposite direction), and humour (so you can laugh at yourself when all dignity flies out of the window as you leap around making funny noises and flapping your arms in front of assembled onlookers who are being inconvenienced by the Carnival of Animals passing by … of course, you are not facing the onlookers as the whole point is to chivvy along the stock, so they get the back view, which must be even stranger).
So I enjoy my standing (and chewing), and take great pleasure in knowing that without me the sheep or cows would end up all over the countryside. It also gives me time to notice things that were before unknown. For example, I'd never realised that udders are covered in hair. Of course, I hadn't given much thought to udders, but it surprised me nevertheless. Reading that back, perhaps I need to get out a bit more often.
